The more people Charlie meets the more people fall in love with her. Why? I have to say it's her smile. No matter who it is, the moment they make eye contact with her she flashes them a huge smile. In one small gesture she lowers your blood pressure and lifts your mood.
I rushed through the hallway with an arm full of laundry and tripped over a dog toy stubbing my toe on the baseboard. Expletive followed by more expletives spewed out of my mouth and my blood began to boil. I looked over at Charlie and she giggled. I guess she thought I was dancing for her. Or maybe she was trying to tell me to calm down and remember not to sweat the small stuff.
I have been able to remain calm and soothing while Charlie cries out in pain from her recent bout of teething and I don't feel stressed out when I need to figure out how to calm her other random cries. I now need to learn to have the same patience with myself.
How am I going to retrain my temperament? Do I need a mantra? Shall I meditate? I think the easiest way to keep my temperature neutral and not scare the bageezus out of Charlie every time I trip over a toy is to take a trick out of Charlie's bag, and flash myself a big ol' smile in the mirror. After all, smiles really are contagious.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
My own personal Buddha
Every time Charlie looks up at me with her big blue eyes I feel like she has some wisdom to impart on me. As she is still a baby and not able to vocalize what exactly she is thinking, (which if I had to guess I am sure it would be - food, toy, sleep), I like to think she is actually contemplating life and all it's wonder.
I know that as a mother it is my "job" to teach her the ways of the world and guide her through the obstacle course without holding her hand too tight. I hope that I am able to be the Mr. Miyagi to her Danilesan. I also hope that I am able to keep my eyes and heart open to all the lessons she is able to teach me. She is after all a little mirror of me and sooner than I would like that little compact is going to turn into a full length mirror with a big ol' spotlight on it.
People spend a fortune on therapy and self help books to help them sift through the drudge that has become their lives. We are constantly searching for ways to become more in tune with ourselves and more aware. We tend to look to our elders to show us the way and tell us how to be better people. I think maybe there is another way.
As I look at Charlie and realize how perfect she is just as she is I realize that we are all born the way we are supposed to be. Sure we learn skills along the way but our basic functions are already in place and our ability to keep our minds open to learn anything and everything starts working on day one.
So when does our brain turn into a bouncer? When do we start getting picky about what we let in and what we turn away? I don't consider my self to be a snob but can I say the same about my brain? Charlie can look at a Qtip with just as much fascination as she does my face, and both make her smile in appreciation. Does that mean in her head I am equal to a Q-Tip? NO (says the insecure mommy in me), it means she sees everything in life as a wonder.
So, that is the lesson I am taking with me today - everything in life is a wonder. Nothing just appears out of thin air, there is a process to everything and a system that places things in front of us. I think I need to appreciate all the work that goes into everything around me and appreciate myself a little more as well.
At least that is what Charlie told me this morning when she looked at me with her little Buddha smile.
I know that as a mother it is my "job" to teach her the ways of the world and guide her through the obstacle course without holding her hand too tight. I hope that I am able to be the Mr. Miyagi to her Danilesan. I also hope that I am able to keep my eyes and heart open to all the lessons she is able to teach me. She is after all a little mirror of me and sooner than I would like that little compact is going to turn into a full length mirror with a big ol' spotlight on it.
People spend a fortune on therapy and self help books to help them sift through the drudge that has become their lives. We are constantly searching for ways to become more in tune with ourselves and more aware. We tend to look to our elders to show us the way and tell us how to be better people. I think maybe there is another way.
As I look at Charlie and realize how perfect she is just as she is I realize that we are all born the way we are supposed to be. Sure we learn skills along the way but our basic functions are already in place and our ability to keep our minds open to learn anything and everything starts working on day one.
So when does our brain turn into a bouncer? When do we start getting picky about what we let in and what we turn away? I don't consider my self to be a snob but can I say the same about my brain? Charlie can look at a Qtip with just as much fascination as she does my face, and both make her smile in appreciation. Does that mean in her head I am equal to a Q-Tip? NO (says the insecure mommy in me), it means she sees everything in life as a wonder.
So, that is the lesson I am taking with me today - everything in life is a wonder. Nothing just appears out of thin air, there is a process to everything and a system that places things in front of us. I think I need to appreciate all the work that goes into everything around me and appreciate myself a little more as well.
At least that is what Charlie told me this morning when she looked at me with her little Buddha smile.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)